The Kim Chronicles

Welcome to The Kim Chronicles

I've spent most of my life thinking "wow, you really can't make this stuff up!" and often thought that I was literally denying many folks what could be the best laugh of the day by sharing what is just normal, every day life for me. Not to mention that occasionally I go through things that are serious and require a lot of prayer and support from my friends and family. I feel like sharing all of these experiences could possibly help others get through hard times of their own. Believe me, I've been through some hard times. I also have plenty that I haven't quite figured out how to deal with yet and as those things come out, I'd love some input from you guys. I have also had some of the most wonderful things happen to me. Some are hilarious. Okay, most are hilarious. At least they are to me. I hope you enjoy my stories as much as I have enjoyed living them. Please keep in mind that I am new at this and it is just for fun. 

An Apple A Day

Going to the doctor for any reason is pretty much signing yourself up for a bad day. First off, you usually have to slip out of work for a while so you are in a dead run the entire time so you don't get missed too badly and can return to work before you are truly needed by someone. I realize that you can use sick days for this, but who wants to use their sick days to stay home sick? Nobody, duh. So I go to work and try to get a jump on things for the day. Then I run out at 8:30 for an 8:45 appointment. Run in the doctor office, sign my name, (what time did you arrive?) listed on the sign in sheet. Look for a clock. No clock anywhere. Dig through purse that needs to seriously be cleaned out and locate cell phone. It's 8:47. Great. I'm late. Sit in lobby for about 15 minutes. Chat with better half while I wait. Get called back. New set of questions.. How are you today (I'm good, you?). She says she is good too. Do you smoke (umm not any more, why?) Just routine questions. Do you drink? (like ever? I mean not today yet. I mean no. well does wine count? what about the occasional shot of tequila? okay socially. I drink socially. Really? Cause that implies I drink in a social crowd and that is not what I am fessing up to. I have a glass of wine occasionally. My answer is occasionally. :) Nurse is just blankly staring at me by now. Alright let's get your blood pressure. Sure cause now I'm a complete wreck. Face and neck both drenched in sweat. Guess what?! Blood pressure is a tad high. I'm totally convinced that it is because I've just been interrogated, not to mention that I ran already just so I could get here two minutes late. Now your weight.... Ugh. I'd like for it to be noted that these are my heavy pants, my shoes are thick and there is a wire in this bra. Please take away for all of these things before writing that number down. She isn't laughing. Pretty sure she doesn't deduct for the extra attire.  Go back to a room. Wait for a while. Doctor comes in. Let's discuss your blood pressure..... Okay. Done. Now your cholesterol level from your last visit implies that you are eating a lot of fatty foods. Is this possible? Gee Doc, I dunno. YOU see the number she wrote down. You don't earn a score that high by eating apples.

Who's a Chef Now?

What was your favorite Christmas gift? Although I received many gifts that I loved, I am totally IN LOVE with my Pioneer Woman Instant Pot. You guys.... this thing is Ahh-mazin'. I had heard a few of my friends talk about having one before Christmas and I didn't think twice about it. Just another kitchen appliance. Probably neat but I'll get one when the new wears off and the price goes down. Well.... better half's parents got me one for Christmas and I'm pretty sure I cried a little. For real. It's SO PRETTY!! And it is the hype of most of my actual adult conversations. A few more of my friends got Instant Pots for Christmas as well. So now we are all like "what did you cook in the instant pot last night?" and "send me that recipe" and "I'll add you to this new group". Because there is literally a community of Instant Pot "life". The most intriguing thing about it all is that we have gone from cooking hot dogs and fries in November to cooking chicken cacciatore in January. Homemade yogurt, apple dumplings, orange chicken in a tangy white sauce with red roasted potatoes... and the list goes on. One of my friends made meatloaf in hers. MEATLOAF!! YUMM! No telling what we will be cooking in February. I say, whatever makes us feel good and special while performing the rather mundane daily chore of coming up with what to fix for dinner and actually cooking it, go for it! And who knows, maybe some of us really do have the ability to be chefs. It's not me. I don't have it. But I did cook a mean roast in mine. :)

Female Drivers

Can we just take a minute to discuss the differences in how a female drives and how a male drives? Or more so, how a man ACTS when a woman drives.  I know this may be a touchy subject for some. But honestly, who cares. I'm a very "but did you die?" driver. A "y'all are okay so hush it up" kinda person. Goodness! Alright, let's start at the beginning. There is an intersection close to our house that was messed up for like a year. A YEAR. This intersection let traffic drive right on through the busy part of the road and had the side road traffic treat it as a stop sign where you could go, after stopping, when clear. I never had an issue with this. Everything went fine. Okay. So this intersection light is now fixed. It's actually been fixed for about four months, but I keep forgetting. We LIVE on the side road and we WORK on the main road so when we head out, and ONLY when I have better half with me, I have basically run this red light. Multiple times. I stop. I look both ways. And I pull out. While the light is still RED. I'm not sure what is wrong with me. I can only assume that it has something to do with the near million other things that I have on my mind at any given time. I was probably thinking about what I was going to cook my loving family for dinner that night. Or how pretty the girls looked for school that morning. Did kid #1 brush her teeth? Did #2 get her snack money? Did anyone feed the cats? I don't know. Something though. I should probably add that when this happens it scares the ever loving horse crap out of better half. Like bad. Like he thinks he just caught a glimpse of Jesus himself and even screams a little. I suppose if you add these incidents to the ones where I hit the brakes a little too hard or run over a curb or swerve a little out of the lines then I can see why he goes pale when I run the red light. But come on. For the love of all.... stop the screaming. YOU ARE OKAY. Plus if he was that scared then he wouldn't let me drive the new truck. Right? :)